Emotions Running High: Beware

So, today I think is the first day that I've realized that I'm going to be leaving soon. The reason that I think this is because I felt like crying about 4 times today over stupid sh*t. At work I did end up crying, but because the guy on the other end did. I've been calling the old folks at work (1958 grads) and today I finally got one that had recently passed away. So recently that it was within the past week. Boy did that make me feel like crap. All of the emotions of everything going on in my life boiled over and I just broke out with tears. I think that may happen rather frequently over the next few weeks. (Hence the 'beware')

I've also been thinking about the fact that when I come back things are going to be extremely different for me and for Ann Arbor. The majority of my friends are going to be moving on with their lives soon after I return and the small hope that this town would be the same as the past four years will fall to pieces. I'm not saying that I won't like Ann Arbor, it's just going to be different, and as most of you know, I don't deal with change at all well. I adapt pretty quickly, but it's a rough stretch in between. I'm going to have to get a new job, what I don't know. I might want to work at a random place, or maybe I'll finally have the drive to do something with my life. I've felt a little useless since I've graduated, I don't really feel as if I'm doing anything. I've been busy hanging out with friends, which is definitely great, I love doing that, but at the end of the day I feel...well, pointless. Goal-less. Jobless. Career-less. I just don't know how I'm ever going to do anything good for the world. I don't have the drive, nor the experience to do anything worthwhile. People are telling me that going abroad is 'something' but to me it doesn't really feel like anything. I kind of wish I was working somewhere making a difference in someone's life...through art. Basically I kind of want my career to start, and this whole going to Ireland thing is kind of getting in my way. I think that it's going to be a great experience, but why am I doing it. I guess I feel like everything I do from now on has to have a point. There has to be reason behind it more than just 'well, I really want to do it,' because that's how I feel about Ireland.

I hate leaving things behind and that's what I feel like I'm doing right now. I'm going to miss all of my friends dearly and I really hope that they don't forget about me. It's always a fear, and a possibility. Change sucks, but is necessary and I know this. But it's hard...

Our New President

Barack Obama, the new president of the United States of America.

I've heard all over the place people are finally proud to be an American. I've always had faith that this is a great country, because of the potential we have to make a difference, but can't deny that in recent years that faith has been tested. 

We are finally going to be able to change the things that need to be changed, and prove that we live in a new world.

I can't even express how happy and excited I am.

Elephants and Cuddle Fish

Over the past month(ish) I've been staring at the stars every time I come home. It's so dark out here that I can see more than I've been able to see for a long time now. This reminds me of all of the things that I wish I could be doing...like working as an astronomer. I can't figure out why I chose the path that I did. No matter what I do, I always wish I was doing something else. I don't feel like movies are for me, no matter how much I love working on them. I just feel like I'm not that good at it. The problem is that I don't feel like I am good at art either. I do, however, miss art, now more than ever. I miss making art, I miss talking about art, I miss going to shows, I miss going to museums, I miss so much about it. But I'm starting to question how I am going to live. Do I work on movies? Do I paint? Do I go to get a completely different degree? Well for now, I'm just lost.

The only good thing about this? It's finally fall. I love that I can wear a sweater and not sweat my a** off. It feels nice outside, it smells nice outside, and I can't wait for the colors to finally change. It's my favorite time of year.

I like orange, and I like berries, and I like fall.


Oh, and recently I've decided that Elephants are my favorite land animal. Cuddle Fish are my favorite water animal.

Too Much

There's just too much hustle and bustle in town. I like being out in the country where it's slower and quieter. I was taking care of my parents house for a couple of days and now I miss it. I haven't really stayed there for that long over the past couple of years, especially in the early summer. It smells different. Yes sometimes it smells like manure, but hey, I grew up with that, it's just 'fresh country air' as my dad used to call it.

Right now all I hear outside my window is people speeding around in their noisy cars and the occasional scream and/or yell from someone walking on the sidewalk. Every once in a while there will be an accident, or someone with road rage, or some drunkies coming back from the bar. It's just not a peaceful environment.

Don't get me wrong, I love Ann Arbor, but I think I love nature more. I wish more people were ok with just going to hang out at some random park, but alas, most people want to be inside when it's time to decide what to do with the day. I guess I don't get it. Summers were always filled with slow days for me when I was little, just hanging out, doing whatever you felt like doing. When I'm in town, I feel like unless I'm alone, I'm supposed to do my hanging out inside.

I want to go on picnics. I want to go to the park, just to take a walk. I want to go swimming. I want to go canoeing. I want to go biking. I want my life to slow down.

Everyone is telling me to speed up, go faster, there's more out there to do, but what if all I want in life is to slow down? Take my time, spend it doing the things I love, and with people I care about. I like being myself, letting my mind wander when I feel like it, and taking my time figuring out how I want to live my life. I don't want to make a wrong choice, so just let me figure it out slowly. Just because I'm graduated from college does not mean I have to have a job, or even have a job in mind. As long as I can pay the bills and keep food on the table, that's all that matters to me right now. Heck, that may be the only thing that ever matters to me.

Just let me be myself right now. That's what will make me happy in the long run.

I want to be like Josie. Carefree and loving every minute of it. Just let me be the 5 year old at heart. It was good times.

I Got One

Just thought you might wanna know.

Meet the Eames'

Blows my mind.

I love Charles and Ray Eames. They have so many amazing videos. It makes me want to be a better person, and artist. Makes me want to be lots of things. Mostly, makes me want to explore every aspect of this world. I hope I can live up to that.

I Like the Randoms

So, I'm officially bored. Out of my mind. Doing a bit of sewing to keep my mind off the fact that I have nothing to do anymore, but obviously that's not working. It's been weird since school ended. I mean, it ended so abruptly. All of a sudden, everything in my life changed. And all the people in it. Friends are leaving, but I'm staying here. It's odd. Whatever, because of this boredom I've been finding random things on the interweb. Here are some of my discoveries.

Apparently, according to Urban Dictionary, a 'pfeiff' is a 'girl who is similar to a hermit crab'. Ok, what does that mean? I don't get it.

I do like this one though.

'pewpew'
-a noise that laser beams makes
(notice the grammatical error. Even with the error though it's still funny)

This is intense, how do people think up stuff to do like this?!

You have to admit though, this is kind of awesome.

Now I know this one's kind of a throw back but I still love it. And boy am I not coordinated enough to even try a stunt like this.


Ok yet another thing that I am just not coordinated enough to do.

This one's pretty amazing. And creative.

This movie looks beautiful, anyone want to go see it with me?

It looks like how my dreams are. Finally, someone who sees into my head.


On Saturday Meg and I are going to see these guys play. I'm really excited. If you haven't seen 'Once', it's definitely one of my recommendations. And not just because I love the land of Ire, which is where the movie is set, but because it's an amazingly inspirational story. Just go see it.


I think I may have over done this one a bit, but like I said, I'm bored. Give me something to do, please.

PUHLEASE!

It's not just that I want them, I think I need them

I've been thinking lately, and there's some things that I really do want.

I want to go back to Europe.
I want someone to love me unconditionally.
I want to love someone unconditionally.
I want to be a great artist.
I want to be recognized for who I am and what I've done.
I want my friends to stay my friends.
I want to stay ok.
I want to live.
I want to be.
I want to go out and have fun.
I want to sleep in.
I want to sleep.
I want to like who I am and who I've become.

Can anyone help with this?

Thesis Paintings

These are the paintings I've been working on all year. Soon to be all done and showing on April 12th. There is where you can see them in real life, but for now, here's some pictures.

Farmer's Market One

Farmer's Market Two

Famer's Market Three

Wave Field One

Wave Field Two

Wave Field Three


There we have it. There are three more for that I'm currently working on which I will put up later, if at all possible, before the show goes up. YAY!

Eeeep!

I've got a website. Of course it's not done like everything else in my life right now, but I'm working on it, I swear!

http://www.emilyemilton.com

I feel so professional and stuff. PROFESSIONAL!

I'm heading into the home stretch for school this year (or maybe for the rest of my life) and I couldn't be busier. I hope to be able to keep in touch with everyone, but I can't promise that I won't become a hermit. See you all in a month or two! Ha.

The Universe Revisited

I just bought this book called 'Universe: The Cosmos Explained' which basically gives a simple explanation to most of the aspects of astronomy. I love it. All I'm doing right now is reading the glossary and I find it completely fascinating. Wonderous.

I also just bought the new Jack Johnson album, it's pretty much amazing. There's something about it that just gets me in a way that his other albums don't.

Now I'm reading about the Superstring Theory. Geebus this is interesting.

But I'm supposed to be painting. Woops.

I don't know if you noticed...

But it's February. Of 2008. Crazy. Life's crazy.

At least I'm not as bad off as some of these people. Saxophone lady? Really?