Too Much

There's just too much hustle and bustle in town. I like being out in the country where it's slower and quieter. I was taking care of my parents house for a couple of days and now I miss it. I haven't really stayed there for that long over the past couple of years, especially in the early summer. It smells different. Yes sometimes it smells like manure, but hey, I grew up with that, it's just 'fresh country air' as my dad used to call it.

Right now all I hear outside my window is people speeding around in their noisy cars and the occasional scream and/or yell from someone walking on the sidewalk. Every once in a while there will be an accident, or someone with road rage, or some drunkies coming back from the bar. It's just not a peaceful environment.

Don't get me wrong, I love Ann Arbor, but I think I love nature more. I wish more people were ok with just going to hang out at some random park, but alas, most people want to be inside when it's time to decide what to do with the day. I guess I don't get it. Summers were always filled with slow days for me when I was little, just hanging out, doing whatever you felt like doing. When I'm in town, I feel like unless I'm alone, I'm supposed to do my hanging out inside.

I want to go on picnics. I want to go to the park, just to take a walk. I want to go swimming. I want to go canoeing. I want to go biking. I want my life to slow down.

Everyone is telling me to speed up, go faster, there's more out there to do, but what if all I want in life is to slow down? Take my time, spend it doing the things I love, and with people I care about. I like being myself, letting my mind wander when I feel like it, and taking my time figuring out how I want to live my life. I don't want to make a wrong choice, so just let me figure it out slowly. Just because I'm graduated from college does not mean I have to have a job, or even have a job in mind. As long as I can pay the bills and keep food on the table, that's all that matters to me right now. Heck, that may be the only thing that ever matters to me.

Just let me be myself right now. That's what will make me happy in the long run.

I want to be like Josie. Carefree and loving every minute of it. Just let me be the 5 year old at heart. It was good times.